Yes, my wife sent me out to pick up a few last minute things at the local supermarket. Oh and the locals were in a festive and jolly mood today!
Have you ever seen two elderly ladies go at it. My goodness! I don't think I have quite heard profanities strung together in such a fashion. Aside from being thoroughly embarassed I was stuck on the line at the checkout. Somehow my image of sweet little old ladies has been damaged in extremus.
Several times I was run into in the aisles whilst standing still. Trust me when I tell you I am hard to miss. I show up on radar. I have felt safer driving my car on the highway. People whiz by with their carts oblivious to everything and everyone as they peruse the shelves in non-stop fashion!
My gratitude goes out to the lovely couple in front of the plum tomatoes for over ten minutes. Why did you inspect EVERY plum tomato when you saw me standing and waiting. Could you not simply have shared the space with me. Hey I showered and shaved. Why I even put cologne on!
When I finally paid for my groceries I had moved my cart forward and was awaiting my bagged groceries. The fellow on line put his material up and pushed his cart forward towards mine. At this exact moment a store worker came in behind me and blocked my egress from the counter area. It seems she was there to pick up items left at the register by customers. I would have bagged the milk myself but I could not reach it at this point. So I wait about 5 minutes and I don't say a word!
Well, I finally have all my goods packed and I head for the door. Oh please miss could you look at your reciept elsewhere and let me pass
I finally make it the parking lot that some shoppers think is a NASCAR track. Thanks for letting this pedestrian have the right of way! No this is not a demolition derby! Then again maybe it is! Someone has pushed a cart up against my car. Why thank you I have always wanted to see what a cart can do to my paint job.
Forget making the left as nobody is cutting anyone any slack during these joyous times. I make the right to avoid the crazies trying to get home a few minutes sooner.
Upon arriving home my wife asks in so pleasant a voice, "what took you so long"! My DW notices that I have forgotten something. It is on the list she says! Where says I? Oh, I must have forgotten to put it down! Would you mind going back to the store to get it!!
AAARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen, if you read a story about someone beating Mr. Whiffle unconcious with a twelve pack of Charmin it was probably me!
I hate crowded supermarkets!!! ARRGGHHH!!
November 22nd, 2006 at 11:04 pm
November 23rd, 2006 at 12:10 am 1164240656
November 23rd, 2006 at 12:54 am 1164243240
November 23rd, 2006 at 01:18 am 1164244692
priceplus - there's something you're not telling us. You mean you forgot about the family with little kids pulling bags of li'l marshmallows off the shelf then said demons having a kickout temper tantrum when mom tucks the bag ...somewhere else? Or perhaps that pumpkin/cherry pie fight on aisle 2. Or the zombies with the cell phone asking about ... something. Surely, it must have been amnesia!
And yep, I think we've all seen two old ladies go at it. One of the downsides of frugality.
November 23rd, 2006 at 01:27 am 1164245230
Unfortunately a middle-aged mom bore my wrath. Crowded supermarket, Saturday afternoon, and her 3+ son and her 18 month old daughter were walking behind her cart. I could have half a dozen beers and walk in a straighter line than these little kids! Hello...have you ever thought about putting the 18 month old IN THE CART? That's why they have the seat in the front!
So I gave her a nasty look (I don't have a poker face). So she said, "I'm sorry, but she's just a child...she doesn't know any better." I said "I completely understand. I have 2 of my own, AT HOME!"
Of course I felt bad the minute I said it, but I feel even worse after reading your entry. Thanks for the reminder to keep it in perspective...
November 23rd, 2006 at 02:25 am 1164248709
November 23rd, 2006 at 02:39 am 1164249593
BTW, has anyone noticed that type of behavior is even worse in well to do areas? Absolutely insane!
November 23rd, 2006 at 03:06 am 1164251216
November 23rd, 2006 at 03:47 am 1164253631
November 23rd, 2006 at 04:51 am 1164257484
November 23rd, 2006 at 05:38 am 1164260333
November 23rd, 2006 at 06:06 am 1164262013
My hat is off to all those who brave supermarkets on a regular basis. I would need medication if I did this regularly. I now return to my babbling and running my fingers over my lips in a downward biddi bibbi dibbi fashion!
November 23rd, 2006 at 12:27 pm 1164284832
"How do you get a little old lady to say the F word? Get another little old lady to yell 'BINGO'!"
in the case of shopping, the second little old lady usually yells "I saw it first!"
November 23rd, 2006 at 03:08 pm 1164294521
November 23rd, 2006 at 03:29 pm 1164295750
Miclason, my visits to the supermarket will be very early in the morn or very late at night. It truly is scary shopping when the place is mobbed!
November 23rd, 2006 at 03:35 pm 1164296144
November 23rd, 2006 at 03:37 pm 1164296277
November 24th, 2006 at 02:28 am 1164335309
November 27th, 2006 at 11:02 pm 1164668536
That could have been me looking at the reciept...do it all the time.
Two little old ladies...Im sure you won't soon forget that.
Best laugh I have had all day.
December 6th, 2006 at 03:44 am 1165376663
December 7th, 2006 at 10:16 pm 1165529812
There must have been a senior shuttle that pulled up about 5 mintues before I got there, because the place was jam-packed full of little ol' ladies, half of whom had their little ol' hubbies along. I love seniors, but it took me forever because they were soooooo sssssllllllooooowwww and it's dificult to get around them. At least I wasn't in a hurry, so it didn't really get on my nerves...well, too much anyway!
December 9th, 2006 at 07:08 am 1165648116
December 10th, 2006 at 11:47 pm 1165794464
December 11th, 2006 at 06:16 am 1165817761
September 29th, 2007 at 09:29 pm 1191097754