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Home > I hate crowded supermarkets!!! ARRGGHHH!!

I hate crowded supermarkets!!! ARRGGHHH!!

November 22nd, 2006 at 11:04 pm

Yes, my wife sent me out to pick up a few last minute things at the local supermarket. Oh and the locals were in a festive and jolly mood today!

Have you ever seen two elderly ladies go at it. My goodness! I don't think I have quite heard profanities strung together in such a fashion. Aside from being thoroughly embarassed I was stuck on the line at the checkout. Somehow my image of sweet little old ladies has been damaged in extremus.

Several times I was run into in the aisles whilst standing still. Trust me when I tell you I am hard to miss. I show up on radar. I have felt safer driving my car on the highway. People whiz by with their carts oblivious to everything and everyone as they peruse the shelves in non-stop fashion!

My gratitude goes out to the lovely couple in front of the plum tomatoes for over ten minutes. Why did you inspect EVERY plum tomato when you saw me standing and waiting. Could you not simply have shared the space with me. Hey I showered and shaved. Why I even put cologne on!

When I finally paid for my groceries I had moved my cart forward and was awaiting my bagged groceries. The fellow on line put his material up and pushed his cart forward towards mine. At this exact moment a store worker came in behind me and blocked my egress from the counter area. It seems she was there to pick up items left at the register by customers. I would have bagged the milk myself but I could not reach it at this point. So I wait about 5 minutes and I don't say a word!

Well, I finally have all my goods packed and I head for the door. Oh please miss could you look at your reciept elsewhere and let me pass

I finally make it the parking lot that some shoppers think is a NASCAR track. Thanks for letting this pedestrian have the right of way!Rolleyes No this is not a demolition derby! Then again maybe it is! Someone has pushed a cart up against my car. Why thank you I have always wanted to see what a cart can do to my paint job.

Forget making the left as nobody is cutting anyone any slack during these joyous times. I make the right to avoid the crazies trying to get home a few minutes sooner.

Upon arriving home my wife asks in so pleasant a voice, "what took you so long"! My DW notices that I have forgotten something. It is on the list she says! Where says I? Oh, I must have forgotten to put it down! Would you mind going back to the store to get it!!

AAARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you read a story about someone beating Mr. Whiffle unconcious with a twelve pack of Charmin it was probably me!


24 Responses to “I hate crowded supermarkets!!! ARRGGHHH!!”

  1. yummy64 Says:
    1164240656

    I'm laughing but I I've had that same experience grocery shopping. I am surprised though that you didn't meet the family in aisle 5 who just met their long lost neighbours and were having a leisurely reunion.

  2. Diolla Says:
    1164243240

    Great story!! I love seeing men in the grocery store with their list and the glazed look. One showed me his list and asked me what his wife mean't by that. I explained and he seemed very relieved.

  3. baselle Says:
    1164244692

    yummy - that was me at Costco. But that was a couple Sundays ago!

    priceplus - there's something you're not telling us. You mean you forgot about the family with little kids pulling bags of li'l marshmallows off the shelf then said demons having a kickout temper tantrum when mom tucks the bag ...somewhere else? Or perhaps that pumpkin/cherry pie fight on aisle 2. Or the zombies with the cell phone asking about ... something. Surely, it must have been amnesia! Wink
    And yep, I think we've all seen two old ladies go at it. One of the downsides of frugality.

  4. mjrube94 Says:
    1164245230

    GUILTY! I was in the A&P on Saturday, rushing to get my shopping done and get home before DD's soccer game and company soon thereafter. I was SO FRUSTRATED trapped behind the really slow elderly people in the really narrow aisles. (Of course, I never said anything and always smiled pleasantly, because they remind me of my mother in her later years, and I would have been totally tweaked if anyone was ever nasty to her).

    Unfortunately a middle-aged mom bore my wrath. Crowded supermarket, Saturday afternoon, and her 3+ son and her 18 month old daughter were walking behind her cart. I could have half a dozen beers and walk in a straighter line than these little kids! Hello...have you ever thought about putting the 18 month old IN THE CART? That's why they have the seat in the front!

    So I gave her a nasty look (I don't have a poker face). So she said, "I'm sorry, but she's just a child...she doesn't know any better." I said "I completely understand. I have 2 of my own, AT HOME!"

    Of course I felt bad the minute I said it, but I feel even worse after reading your entry. Thanks for the reminder to keep it in perspective...

  5. jodi Says:
    1164248709

    Ah, the holidays bring out the "best" in all of us, don't they? Wink I just contended with the crowds at Wal-Mart yesterday. It's so bad here now that I will only go when I need diapers. Everything else, I can get somewhere else.

  6. katwoman Says:
    1164249593

    I, like mjrube, do not have a poker face. In fact, I've resorted to rolling my eyes (and my eyes are really big and expressive) when I meet with such situations. I won't even go near a WalMart parking lot, EVER!

    BTW, has anyone noticed that type of behavior is even worse in well to do areas? Absolutely insane!

  7. LuckyRobin Says:
    1164251216

    Youch, I feel absolutely guilty for being able to walk right up the counter at the store and get checked right through without waiting at all. But wait, that was at 3:00. None of the crazy follks were off work yet!

  8. PauletteGoddard Says:
    1164253631

    You're making me reconsider the wisdom of ducking to the local supermarket for vanilla yoghurt with which to make a smoothie tomorrow. Not that I didn't encounter similar traffic congestion on the Interstate and arterials earlier today.

  9. Broken Arrow Says:
    1164257484

    Hehehe. Funny.

  10. MsSuperSaver Says:
    1164260333

    ROFL the holidays do tend to bring out the "best" in people. Almost got creamed pulling out of the mall today...it was pouring down rain as it has been for like a month when a lady who was chatting away on her cell phone crossed five lanes of traffic with one had on the steering wheel and pulled right in front of me as I was trying to exit the mall parking lot. Curious to see how people/traffic will be on Friday. The news even ran a piece today on how to defend yourself (physically) when going to the after Thanksgiving sales {{yikes}}

  11. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1164262013

    Folks take my advice, don't go shopping at the last minute when there are crowds. I now know why my wife sent me! It is a womder I am not in a home for the perpetually bewildered after my journey to advenure.

    My hat is off to all those who brave supermarkets on a regular basis. I would need medication if I did this regularly. I now return to my babbling and running my fingers over my lips in a downward biddi bibbi dibbi fashion!

  12. tinapbeana Says:
    1164284832

    hehehehe! reminds me of one of my father's favorite jokes

    "How do you get a little old lady to say the F word? Get another little old lady to yell 'BINGO'!"

    in the case of shopping, the second little old lady usually yells "I saw it first!"

  13. miclason Says:
    1164294521

    LOL!....part of my "tactics" at supermarkets include the "commando style mission": In and out in 30 minutes!....that means I give myself 30 minutes to be at the register...I generally try NOT to go to the supermarket before any important holidays ....even if that means buying things more expensively at convenience stores, pharmacies and/or gas station stores!

  14. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1164295750

    Tina, it seems that sweet little old ladies know more than just the "F" word. You really have to go some to embarass me but they sure did! It was really uncivil behavior!

    Miclason, my visits to the supermarket will be very early in the morn or very late at night. It truly is scary shopping when the place is mobbed!

  15. Ima saver Says:
    1164296144

    That was so funny!

  16. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1164296277

    Julie, in retrospect it is funny but I have to tell you that I was rattled by the behavior of people. I wonder if people behave in such fashion at home?

  17. Broken Arrow Says:
    1164335309

    The holidays always seem to bring out the best and the worst in people. Watch out for Black Friday!

  18. flinnie Says:
    1164668536

    This is just too funny.Belive me I feel were you are coming from.
    That could have been me looking at the reciept...do it all the time.
    Two little old ladies...Im sure you won't soon forget that.

    Best laugh I have had all day.

  19. shadon Says:
    1165376663

    They don't call it the "silly season" for nothin'! Very funny read PP and I can empathise. My personal hate is walking behind people (usually women with prams) who then decide to stop right in the middle of the walkway in a shopping centre to chat with a friend they've just spotted thus blocking mine and everyone elses passage! I'm a mum, I push a pram and I sure as hell know how to MOVE TO THE SIDE when I bump into a friend - GRRR!!!! There I feel better now Smile

  20. elgin526 Says:
    1165529812

    I can't win for losing. I had last Friday off, so I decided to go gorcery shoping, figuring that the store would be empty since most people work during the day.

    There must have been a senior shuttle that pulled up about 5 mintues before I got there, because the place was jam-packed full of little ol' ladies, half of whom had their little ol' hubbies along. I love seniors, but it took me forever because they were soooooo sssssllllllooooowwww and it's dificult to get around them. At least I wasn't in a hurry, so it didn't really get on my nerves...well, too much anyway!

  21. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1165648116

    elgin526, have you ever observed a hat driving a car? I am a little frightened bypeople who cannot see over the dash!

  22. baselle Says:
    1165794464

    Priceplus - my MIL is a puff of white hair driving a car. That's if the seat's adjusted properly. Sometimes its just two hands! DH makes me get in the passenger's side seat, and I have come soooooooooo close to leaning over and steering or hitting the brake with my foot. Rude but alive, I always say.

  23. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1165817761

    baselle, LOL!!! I know the feeling. My MIL has a 93 FORD with a little over 32000 miles. She scares the dickens out of me when she drives. She is now 85!

  24. juststoppingin Says:
    1191097754

    Who in the hell translated this and what language was it originally written in?

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