Well, I made a couple of extra bucks and I have not told the wife about it. It makes more sense to save and not let her know about it. I tried the open path and it sure backfired.
We have tried the counseling but it usually degenerates into screaming matches. Enough is enough. I don't care to live in a hovel when I get older so it is up to me to save. I will divorce my finances from my wifes finances if that is necessary. I thought about it before but it is fast becoming a viable option. I intend to consult a lawyer to see how one goes about doing that.
I have the emergency fund up to 5000 again. I have 14 payments to go on my wifes CC debt. I threw some extra money at it last payment.
I printed out info on Debit cards and explained to my wife the dangers of using overdraft protection at 21%. I hope she keeps better control of her checking account. In any case she does not have a credit card and the overdraft is limited to 5000. Crazy stuff this!
Now the wife wants to redo the upstairs and finish the basement. Money grows on trees right? I tried to expalin to the wife that I don't want to incur any more debt as I pay off her last spending spree. I could see where the discussion was going in 30 seconds. I have no money to give until the CC is paid off.
Oddly enough she is still clipping coupons for the grocery store. Talk about about irony. I got my bicycle fixed to use for short trips around town and save wear and tear on the car. It is also good for my health barring getting hit by a car!
I'd like to thank all the folks who have been so kind and free with good advice.
Now it is back to the grindstone and make it happen!
Hiding the Money from Wife.
April 10th, 2006 at 10:36 pm
April 10th, 2006 at 10:45 pm 1144705520
he knows i hide it..he just doesnt know WHERE.
April 10th, 2006 at 10:55 pm 1144706111
April 10th, 2006 at 11:09 pm 1144706947
Please don't give up on the counseling. If it ended in a shouting match look into another counselor. A good one would be able to help you two compromise rather than tear you apart.
April 11th, 2006 at 12:21 am 1144711277
April 11th, 2006 at 01:03 am 1144713811
I sincerely applaud your efforts and hope you and your wife will be able to find that happy middle ground sooner than later.
April 11th, 2006 at 06:06 am 1144731971
DH and I have completely separate finances. We are not weird, evil people; it doesn't mean I don't love DH; it means that we have bills that we are assigned to and are accountable for.
April 11th, 2006 at 03:54 pm 1144767280
April 11th, 2006 at 03:56 pm 1144767386
...now, if I could hide money from myself, I would LOL!...I tend to spend it if I have it!!
April 11th, 2006 at 05:29 pm 1144772997
April 13th, 2006 at 07:16 am 1144909009
I also have a savings account. Shhh...
Mom always told me a woman should have her own money, even if just a little bit.
April 23rd, 2006 at 06:56 am 1145771815
my friend hides money from her spouse, they own an auto dealership... when he sees, they are making alot of money, he slacks off and doesn't work well until he has to again.. so, she takes about $300 a day out of the register and invests the money and he stays motivated.. she said she will adjust it higher if she has to...
so, you see that is just one example... money is a big issue between couples everywhere... one person usually needs to manage the money anyway.. not both, it seems to me.
April 25th, 2006 at 04:13 pm 1145978033
The last straw was her saying she would prove to me she could be an adult and we should seperate our accounts. Within 6 months she had her own credit cards maxed out in the thousands of dollars (I paid all the household bills).
Sorry to be discouraging, but I finally accepted she wasn't going to change, and she is now my ex-wife and I feel like I have a future again.
April 25th, 2006 at 07:06 pm 1145988404
My wife is a spender, too. We actually beat the living hell out of each other once (point of interest: spousal violence), but now all is good.
April 26th, 2006 at 06:32 am 1146029542
April 26th, 2006 at 04:43 pm 1146066219
April 27th, 2006 at 12:07 am 1146092821
April 27th, 2006 at 01:31 pm 1146141077
April 28th, 2006 at 05:54 pm 1146243242
April 29th, 2006 at 03:02 am 1146276174
October 20th, 2006 at 01:41 am 1161304897
Her idea is to spend till its gone. Then when she has situations like tonight and she takes one of her cats to the vet and it costs 306 bucks, all she has to resort to is her flaming credit card. Im 31 years old and make good money. I feel really bad that I am hiding the money, but Ill be damned if I have to live paycheck to paycheck because she cant control herself. Just venting.
August 15th, 2007 at 05:45 pm 1187196323
What do you think?
August 15th, 2007 at 09:38 pm 1187210308
If you don't hide the money you'll expose yourself to a very grim future. Keep hidin' mate
August 16th, 2007 at 02:17 am 1187227072
Sometimes seperating the money is best. Sometimes it leads to a split. I hope you and your spouse can come to an agreement!
Don't co-sign any loans and don't get a joint credit card! You should consider counseling. Left unaddressed financial issues can destroy a marriage. It came close to destroying mine!
September 30th, 2007 at 12:39 am 1191109163
November 21st, 2007 at 12:09 am 1195603778
#1 - Trust no one with your money
#2 - No mattresses
Try a safe deposit box to stash cash. If you want to invest and aren't concerned about divorce as much as controlling your spouse's spending, look into IRA accounts, and if you want secrecy, ROTH IRAs don't need to be declared on taxes.
Credit card tip, pre-paid VISA cards are available, put your spouse on an allowance next time they promise to spend less. If they're not going to spend it, they don't need access to it in plastic form, do they?
October 11th, 2011 at 09:08 pm 1318363689