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Home > Checked wife's wallet for new credit cards.

Checked wife's wallet for new credit cards.

April 23rd, 2006 at 05:24 am

I must be losing it. I snuck into my wifes purse the other night while she was sleeping and checked for any new credit cards. Thankfully there were none.

I check the mail as often as I can and throw out any card offers made to her. I also monitor the mail to see if any odd looking bills or cards come.

I know it sounds crazy but spending is every bit a sickness as alcoholism or gambling or drug addiction. I just need to know that I am not getting blind sided.

I made some extra money but I am thoroughly exhausted. I cannot lose my health for money no matter what. I have to ratchet it back a bit for a while.
I like the extra money but the time spent getting it is wearing me out.
My wife knows nothing of the extra monsy and I am not going to tell her about it. I can see daylight up ahead. I hope I reach it and am debt free.

I am paying the basic bills and am not spending on anything else. Hopefully things work out in the end. Back to the grindstone!


Posted in Credit Card Debt | 14 Comments »

14 Responses to “Checked wife's wallet for new credit cards.”

  1. markio26 Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 05:38 am 1145770721
    1145770721

    keep the motivation going, you will see daylight soon.

  2. baselle Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 05:38 am 1145770722
    1145770722

    Take care of yourself, please. Remember that this is marathon, not a sprint!

  3. PrincessPerky Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 01:13 pm 1145798033
    1145798033

    I am so amazed at how you are trying to help your wife. I read the part earlier about how you wanted to divorce your finances from her, but you never mentioned divorcing her. In todays world of marriges a dime a dozen it is wonderful to hear of a guy working to keep the marriage together!

    Have you tried to get her a safer addiction? that might sound odd, but I seem to have a decluttering bug that attacks, it is hard to spend when I am tossing! I think volunteering is an addiction for some, and for anyone in the addiction habit (some are more prone than others), a semi healthy addiction is better than a bad one. Does that make any sense?

  4. Ima Saver Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 03:28 pm 1145806137
    1145806137

    I really wish your wife would work with you. Can you get her interested in this site? I assume you handle all the money in the family? Maybe if she was more involved, she would try harder.

  5. Her Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 04:12 pm 1145808770
    1145808770

    I am concerned by the deceit in your marriage. Not only are you and your wife lying to each other about money, but your post indicates that you are also lying to your wife about this blog. I can only assume she does not know about the blog or else she would also find out about your extra income. Hiding your online activities can be detrimental to a marriage. A marriage takes honesty and I want to see your marriage succeed. I am sharing this word of caution with the kindest of intentions, so please do not be offended.

  6. carol Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 05:20 pm 1145812845
    1145812845

    That might work in a relationship where two people could be open & honest with each other. Where they felt emotionally safe to be open & honest. But when you have one person that is a spendthrift, and bull headed stubborn to boot, then add on denial, and a "my way or the highway" attitude, and if one partner has already tried discussions, counseling, and NONE of this has made any progress or difference, then I can understand why he or she might resort to this. I'm not saying it's right or ok, but since I'm in a very similar boat myself, I do understand how this person might feel backed into a corner so to speak.

  7. katwoman Says:
    April 23rd, 2006 at 08:01 pm 1145822483
    1145822483

    1-888-5OPT-OUT to opt out of pre-approved credit card offers. Do this for yourself and your wife and you won't have to worry about her applying for anything that comes in the mail. What she does at stores or online is, of course, harder to control.

  8. PRICEPLUS Says:
    April 24th, 2006 at 04:27 am 1145852830
    1145852830

    Princess Perky, I thank you for the kind words but I am hardly a saint.

    Her, I never take offense at sincere advice. I keep this blog a secret much as I would a personal diary. No one on line knows who I am and it allows me to vent and talk to people. I don't like to be decietful but I cannot let money troubles break up my marriage. It is up to me to save for the future. When I signed up for a life of marriage I took it very seriously. My wife, with the exeption of her spending, is a wonderful wife and a great mom.

    I love my wife very much. I'd like to be totally honest but that is not possible at this time. The words are for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others. I do what I think is necessary.

    Katwoman, that is a great idea. Presently I interept the credit card offers as they come.

    Thank you all for your advice and comments!

  9. PrincessPerky Says:
    April 25th, 2006 at 02:10 pm 1145974227
    1145974227

    It doesn't take a saint to stay married, just love, patience, and hope Smile (oh and some venting I think!)

  10. miclason Says:
    April 25th, 2006 at 03:04 pm 1145977486
    1145977486

    I know how awful it can be...my mom had a spending addiction, as well...it was very difficult for her when I took control of the money...I used to give her a (very) small allowance, but, even then, she got the lady at the corner store and the one at the drugstore to give her credit!

  11. mahanda Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 12:46 am 1146012392
    1146012392

    i completely understand and you have my empathy. i have tried to control my partner's spending, but gave up. he has no cc's now, no cash cards, no checking acct. he gives me his share (not quite equalWink of the bills and i ignore what he does with the rest. he is always broke two days after payday. he will borrow from anyone!!
    your wife is very lucky

  12. Champion Cheapskate Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 09:07 pm 1146085636
    1146085636

    Realx. Give yourself some quality time. Just 5 or 10 minutes a day can really rejuvenate you. Keep your focus and keep going. Good luck.

  13. PRICEPLUS Says:
    April 27th, 2006 at 12:30 pm 1146141005
    1146141005

    I am going to take some time because I am just about worn out. I had a spell of bad health earlier in the year. You can't make money from a hospital bed so I'm taking it easy for a while.

  14. kylieb266 Says:
    May 15th, 2006 at 08:06 am 1147680373
    1147680373

    Good on you Priceplus.

    I admire your efforts towards being debt free, but as you said, no amount of money or work is worth getting sick over.

    I work part time and when I have a busy week, I often feel like I need some time to relax, as my health is not 100%. Then I think to myself, no work is worth making me ill, so slow down, its only money...

    good luck

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